Quantum leap in consciousness for my birthday gift to me! :)

About 3 weeks ago I woke suddenly about 5 am and jumped out of bed with an urgency I did not understand at first.  I went outside and stood in my bare feet in my PJS and looked around me as I listened to the birds almost shouting good morning!!! I felt a stir inside a kind of desperation and as I stayed with this feeling I was overwhelmed by emotion of gratitude and joy for all that surrounded me, my life, our home this amazing land, my dear husband of 33 years our sons their family and our dear dear friends.  Then I felt this sadness that I was turning 50 in just a couple of weeks and I had not reached the goals that I had set for myself.  Almost as instantly as I felt these emotions I felt a nudge of sorts, from God the universe I cannot explain it, it was simply an awareness that the goals were not going to be met until I was willing to step into my life 100%!!! I took a breath and I knew, I really knew in that moment I was on a mission!!

For many years now over 20 years I have been on this amazing journey of self-discovery and healing.  Over 5 years ago I began another journey training to become an Integrative Coach.  To say that today I am not even close to who I was 5 years ago wouldnot be an exaggeration, I look the same in some ways, but the changes from within are so much that I would not even know where to begin;  yet in that moment at 5 am I realized that I was still only living 50% of the capacity of who I have become today! Now for future reference I realize we all have infinite possibilities and the ability to reach for the sky and beyond but first each step along the way we need to be willing to step 100% into the newest evolution of ourselves.

For about 8 months now starting last winter I slid back into some dark places, what we call in coaching my default mode.  With some stress in my life I went back to very comfortable ways of being complacent.  I stopped envisioning and dreaming and went into an old friend I call survival mode.  You know this friend , the part of us that slides through the day without real passion or direction.  I call this a friend because at one time in my life this friend served me well but no longer.   Don’t get me wrong I have done amazing things over the past years that I am so proud of but I realized in the early dawn that I had lost my passion for life.  I got lazy with my journey and realized I was way out of integrity in so many ways. 

So for the last 3 weeks I have been working harder than at any other time in my life to shift my old paradigm. Those old patterns of thoughts and habits that no longer serve us.  Every morning I am spending at least 60 min writing my vision, dreaming, praying  and focusing on how I can show up that day with greater integrity to myself and others no matter what comes my way!  I have recommitted to my body and have made a list of integrity issues that I have not addressed and one by one I am doing them all, from cleaning out my closets to finishing long forgotten to do lists.  I have this overwhelming urge to strive for excellence in a way I have never before.  Not perfection because that is God’s business but for excellence!

I am so excited for my 50th Birthday now for I have committed to be unrecognizable to myself! Yes I will still look the same to others yet the people who know me will and have already seen the change.  I realize now that my vision is not possible until I make one hell of a quantum leap in my consciousness and stay committed to it no matter what and I am going to celebrate this new evolution on July 18th and beyond!!

 I WILL still continue to welcome my default shadow selves, fear, judgement, unworthiness, etc in the door of my heart to teach me to love all of who I am but they are not allowed to move in!!! I Will listen to my heart’s desire with a new awareness and understanding and bring a new level of integrity to everything I do, EVERYTHING; from my coaching to washing the dishes!!!!!!  I have called on a good friend to hold me accountable, we have been talking once a week.  I have a calendar that I show below that I put colourful dots on each day that I stay integrity with my body.  For me this is walking, yoga, eating well and Qigong at night before I go to bed.  I love seeing my progress , it reminds me of Sunday school when we got gold stars!! I love who I am and more importantly I love who I am becoming, this is what I give to me as a birthday gift and may the next half of my life be the best I have ever had!!!!

Let us all commit to loving ourselves and others more than we ever thought possible!! What can you do today to make a quantum leap in consciousness!  We all deserve to live life to the absolute fullest!!

This is what I see every morning this summer at 5am from my front lawn! A pathway I mow to my bluberry field.

Visual reminder of self care

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4 Responses to Quantum leap in consciousness for my birthday gift to me! :)

  1. Jenny Finn says:

    Wonderful Joyce! I recognize this picture- the land that you live on. So beautiful. And yum, strawberries!! I hope to come back to teach in Nova Scotia one day (will be in Toronto teaching in October!). Until then, it is lovely to hear what is happening with you! Maybe one day you can come to a Soma retreat, you and Donna! 🙂 Much love to you and happy 50th Joyce!

    • Thanks so much dear dear Jenny! So nice to hear from you!!
      You blessed our home with your wonderful workshop with Soma dance! I would love to have you again it was very powerful!!
      Coming to Colorado is in my visioning for many reasons! I have soooo many friends there including yourself. Blessings and have a wonderful Summer.

  2. gail d'entremont says:

    Happy Birthday Joyce. What a awesome blog. For the past year and a half thing I feel like I have been slowly losing losing my zest for life. I too have to make the commitment. Thanks for the great blog. Enjoy your birthday girlfriend.


    • Thanks so much dear friend ! This amazing journey called life can only be truely experianced if we are willing to show up to it all!! 100 %. It has bein an amazing Birthday and I cannot wait for the rest of my life!! Bring it on!!! I have no doubt that you will step back into your journey too with even more zest than before!!

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