Who am I really?

Interesting question as I go into another week of my own inner process.  The first few days without TV or radio I slept so sound at night.  I enjoyed the silence this week but  interestingly enough ended yesterday with watching some TV!  I am curious today wondering what it was I was running from.  I am totally recommitted again as I look at this week and see the potential of this media fast has in store.  I realized after yesterday that I am getting ready for another shift.  How do I know this, watching TV was a clue to be curious.   A kind of gentle nudge that I am running from something.  

I am searching this concept of giving up who I think I am.  Obvious parts of who I am are dear to me, I am a woman with many roles such as mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, partner, coach etc.  All of those roles I genuinely love and accept yet there is so much more.  I am the thoughts and beliefs of who I think that I am. 

Many of our thought and beliefs are not our own.  They were simply passed down from our parents and caregivers and of course society itself.  Everyday we are bombarded with images and words that tell us who we should be!  There are so much more subtle and not so subtle messages that we simple accept as the norm.  That is why I love a media fast.  People ask me aren’t you afraid you will miss something important.  I love what Dr. Christina Northrup says that everything she needs to know someone always tells her.  I find this to be the case also. 

So much of my journey is looking at the thoughts and beliefs that make me who I think that I am. A fun example of this is I was at my grandchildren’s birthday celebration at a park this weekend and there where all kinds of chips. For years now I boost to everyone how I cannot simply eat a handful and set them aside.  Is this really true?  As an adult I have found this mostly true until now but is this set in stone?  I uncovered that until today I accepted this to be true so I avoid having chips in my home for the most part.  

This may be a very small example yet I am aware especially in this silent place about more thoughts and beliefs that I still fixate on.  I have changed a lot of beliefs over the years like “I am too old”  “to fat” “not smart enough” etc.  I am forever looking deeper for more falsehoods that I have perpetuated about who I am.  Can we be willing to look and see if what we believe about ourselves is really true?  Who am I really? 

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